i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
