I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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