yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
