i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
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