There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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