Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
