Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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