I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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