The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
