shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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