i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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