Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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