got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize