lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
