She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
