Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
