the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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