She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Randomize
