Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
