Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We left the knife in your bed.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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