Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
