I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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