If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize