im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
