i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
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