WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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