she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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