I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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