My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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