I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
