What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
