Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
