i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
