So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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