3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
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