Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
