Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
it glows. i had to have it.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
