If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
