guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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