i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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