He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
