Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
