i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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