It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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