All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Fuck appropriateness.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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