so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
