The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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