I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
