Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
