I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
