I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
