I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
