Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
