only if we run a train.
done.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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