There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
