I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
