I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
im having a threesome with these popsicles
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize