Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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