I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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